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Urgent help needed!

Can any of my UK flist on here with any knowledge of autism and child protection, domestic violence and chilkd protection, and the social services in general, contact me immediately.

It's happening again, the SS have totally the wrong information, are not listening or accepting evidence and are pushing us to something that will harm BK, like with the flexi schooling back in 2010 - only worse, it will trigger exactly what they believe they will prevent: her father turning up to the house with threatening behaviour. Once BK stops texting him, he'll forget about her, but send him court papers etc, he will get aggressive.

The CAB have told me to call the SS's bluff and tell them I will not see a solictior for an injuction (they also advise if i have to go ahead, it is a non molestation order I will need, not an injunction, as that will achieve nothing in protecting my daughter, and that is more complex and wil require both of us in court).

I can't get hold of her therapist, who has spoken to one social worker. I keep trying Women's Aid, who might have experience, but no luck.

The social worker from the Hub is not in. the separate social worker who called, unaware of the Hub, didn't give me his name. And as if goes on I get too scared to tell them NO!!!

HELP!!!!

I just want to try to get into a routine of getting her to do her balance therapy, her new physiotherapy, take her meds on time, her education, and her acting with my limited 'spoons'. And to deal with all the meltdowns coming from her upset at giving up courses, being more ill, and the PIP assessment - whch triggered her to run out of the house (and get on a bus to Wycombe as she had no money for Starbucks, and then somehow decide she didn't want to worry her Nanny so go to her father's, who took her phone and prevented her from leaving)

Btw, the police here felt there was no need for SS involvement and were satisfied it was a one off and I could keep her safe. this is all tick boxing from bureaucrats that led to this threat - from a no names consultation too, and from a well meaning Wycombe officer who wanted us to have support - which probably exists in Buckinghamshire through council funded charities, but there is nothing in Oxfordshire - you could be dyuiing of cancer with 4 kids, 2 on the spectrum and you'd get nothing, The last respite for non verbal, low functioning kids closed 6 months ago. and still 70 million cuts to come...

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
flowerpotgirl
Jan. 14th, 2016 06:39 pm (UTC)
Just so frustrating.
Will save spoons to read through the longer message you sent me, but am thinking of you.
asparagusmama
Jan. 23rd, 2016 05:43 pm (UTC)
I have amended the draft email for if or when either social worker gets in touch, but a few days after this post I tracked down a very old friend from an old youth group on facebook, we normal merely like the odd photo, but he has 10 years in social work and 20 lecturing social workers, and also liked the email, but told me to hold off until they contact me. In his words, 'they don't give a toss about your daughter, they are just covering their arses!'. But both he and my Mum feel that they were just ticking boxes in response to babyklingon being reported missing to the police and since I made the right responses they won't chase it. But if they do, I am armed. Plus, her therapist is appalled by the thought of her having to face her father in court, which she well, being over 16! Family courts offer no protection to victims of abuse and domestic violence! So I have support there.

Thank you so much for all your help. It was such a shock to think they were getting back in touch when all I needed was I'm to focus and getting things calm and settled with my daughter after a terrifying experience. I'm keeping my fingers crossed they will leave us alone now. 9 days and counting since any contact...
owlbsurfinbird
Jan. 14th, 2016 10:26 pm (UTC)
Wish I knew something that would help. Sending positive thoughts. *hug*
asparagusmama
Jan. 23rd, 2016 05:33 pm (UTC)
Positive thoughts are a help. Never underestimate them :) xxx
moth2fic
Jan. 14th, 2016 10:54 pm (UTC)
Still ill but horrified to read your post. No idea what to do or who to contact but CAB seem to be most on the ball and you could try contacting them constantly. Would also suggest Samaritans, as you are clearly at the end of your tether and they might have suggestions. Keep us informed, be aware of our love, and try to take care of yourselves in order to be strong enough to fight the bureaucracy.
asparagusmama
Jan. 23rd, 2016 05:31 pm (UTC)
It was on the advice of the CAB that I stand up to them and tell them going to court was not in my daughter's best interest for something that was a slight risk.

So far I've heard nothing more from either social worker. My Mum thinks it was all tick boxing and covering their own backs and since I made the right noises and moves we've dropped off their radar again.

At the moment I'm using up my limited mental spoons preparing for an appeal against the PIP decision - imagine the impact on a child, the govt telling her she has no needs and needs no extra support and care as she has to drop out of college as she is too ill to even sit up again most of the time, and needs so much care re the vertigo, let alone the asd. It was the inappropriate was she was treated in the PIP assessment centre that triggered the meltdown that made her go out of the house and into the arms of her father in the first place. But we are supported through this appeal by the local carers centre.

Thank you x
pandabob1
Jan. 15th, 2016 10:52 am (UTC)
Short term pain may be worth the long term gain with regard to a non mol. If I'd done as advised by SS in this regard rather than letting a solicitor talk me out of trying we probably wouldn't be where we are now.

Court is scary but it's short term scary. A whole life lived in fear is worse.

You could try advice from the NSPCC re babyklingon and the national domestic violence helpline might be able to help you.


Sorry things are bad right now.

PB xxx
asparagusmama
Jan. 23rd, 2016 05:11 pm (UTC)
The time for a non molestation order was when she was four, not sixteen, but I couldn't get my solicitor or the social worker involved in her interview to agree. Her therapist is really convinced she wouldn't cope with court. As the trigger for the meltdown that put her in this situation was the PIP face to face assessment and we are going to have to appeal the decision, she will have enough to cope with. I am confident she will never contact him again, she is too afraid, and if he turns up, I can phone the police in any case with his history.

Things are going from bad to worse right now, but she is safe again, and our relationship and her trust in me in unbroken, and that is the main thing.

Knowing that I have friends on here that care really helps me not feel alone. Thank you xxx
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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