asparagusmama (asparagusmama) wrote,
asparagusmama
asparagusmama

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School update 2

Well, this morning went well. Not. Furniture thrown and I can't count the number of times I've had the f -word and the female dog word used at me this morning!

Shall I start at the beginning?

Yesterday (Thursday) is the only day I pick her up at the school and I was five minutes late thanks to the chair not charging last night and I was going sooo sloowwwlly up the hill... Ordinarily this alone would cause a little anxiety, particulary since it was only the thrid week, but after the day she had had...

Well, her tutor was off sick, then her English teacher was, two unscheduled teacher subtitutions in less than an hour. Her drama teacher was also away, but that had been planned for but she had chosen to go as she loves drama, but the change of delievery on top of the previous changes were too much. She was due to start food technology that day, which with all her allergies and the fact that cooking together and with me and with my Mum had been a huge part of home schooling: she was angry at having to be taught how to make a healthy sandwich, especially since she knew she wold know more about a gluten free, dairy free sandwich than the teacher...

Reader, she ran out of school. the first they knew was her quiet space was empty. All her belongings left behind. She turned up and hour later in the medical room, having got as far as the shopping centre and the Broadway and turned around and gone back. Her therapist (the reason I pick her up on Thursdays - the day she sees him) said this is good, that she only got so far and went back shows she has formed a trusting connection to the school in two and a half weeks.

Did they phone me? Did they heck! No, I got a lovely letter detailing all this and other problems I've been highlighting in the home-school dialogue book. Again, her therapist said because she is so good at masking her anxieties and struggles in a desperate attempt to appear normal they missed all the problems, assuming I had exaggerated her fear of writing as she had a go in class.

Well, she will be scribed for at all times now. She will do one to one Maths workbooks with the TA (the teacher saw how bored she was two days ago and she is now doing GCSE maths - kudos that teacher!). Her TA is actually a qualified science teacher, so she can provide appropriate input. History and Georgraphy she will sit out,as they are covering topics we did together when I home schooled her. She will have quiet chill time in her private room, and will ultimately be given the books and worksheets to read on her own (this is how I worked with her on those topics any how, later talking with her about what she had read, encouraging her to answer verbally set questions). She will finish 15 minutes early and have quiet time before leaving school.

Well, we'll see. I love her to bits, and she is amazing, funny, clever and beautiful, but when she attacks me and assaults me and insults me it is so hard. I know I am safe, the rock in her life, so she can let rip all the pain and fear in the only way she can with me but.... *sigh*... it is hard. Who can I cry to? Who will hug me? And how do you find anyone to care for you when all your limited energy goes caring for your amazing daughter,and the caring screws your neurological illness even more to make you house bound and even if I could go out for something for me there is no-one to babysit and even if she is 12 you can't leave her alone for long... *big sigh*...


Well. *big fake grin* Chin up, stiff upper lip, one just gets on with it, h'm?

On the up news, I have found a carer who seems jolly good. And another phones who sounds promising. Sharing the hours always leaves one covered for sickness and holidays.

Hey, if anyone is reading this and doesn't want to comment but would like to cheer me up and is into fanfic, especially slash, go here
http://archiveofourown.org/users/asparagusmama
all nicely put comments welcome, even politely worded constructive critcism. But no flaming, feeling very vulnerable, what with the daughter swearing at me and 10+ of an abusive marriage and child sexual abuse behind me...

The fics would be 90% Lewis, it being the only thing that keeps my daughter still and calm at night and other times (well, there is Barbie DVDs but I must confess to not being inspired...!)

Actually, the last two nights we have had Mawdryn Undead and Terminus, so Enlightenment tonight then, so... it's along time since I put pen to paper with Doctor/Turlough...

Oh no! She'll want crossover!!!! Aaagh!!!!
Tags: allergies, anxiety, autism, daughters, dr. who, fics, lewis, school, slash
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