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January 26th, 2019

PIP Appeal

My daughter didn't get PIP, seemingly coz she was there when she didn't go when she was 16. The judge back then said if she had gone he'd have given more points.
She didn't get it coz she pushes through disabling and crippling autism confusion and anxiety and severe vertigo and pain despite needing back up. If she sat in her room and never tried to engage (and was male too I bet) she'd have got it and if spent it all on weed and computer games and stayed in her room she'd have got it. Coz she tries and pushes herself and masks she didn't. And all the medical experts said she masks and hides her symptoms. The system punishes you for trying to over come your disabilities.
PIP now and she pays taxes for life later, no PIP and what, she's on ESA for life? What kind of fucked up system is that? (Mind you, same as school, give her the support and she'd have been great, but no, too much money to spend on her needs, better to lie about her needs and blame the mum as she is handily in a wheelchair)
She needs help washing and dresses a couple of times a week. She doesn't wash the rest of the time and wears same clothes day in, day out. She is at risk of falls and stumbling inder a car on the pth every time she is out of the house. She falls inside the house. She is anxious and afraid and does not undertand every moment she is out. She can't cook or remember to feed herself or manage her medication or therapy. She mostly can't bathe or wash her hair due to pain and risk of falls.
But coz she showed up to the appeal and coz she is going to college she is functioning fine. Apparently. Even if the care and support she needs is literally killing me by degrees which I willinginly give coz that's what Mums do. And if she didn't have needs she would be looking after me, not making me sicker, coz that's what children gladly do for their mothers. That's what families do, they love and support each other.
No love in the world can pay for transport and care and extra needs and therapy. No love in the world can get me out of the serious fucking debt I will be in now.
Come what may we will get her through the BTEC somehow, even if it kills me.
We are not in a good place right now. Only fear of hell is keeping us here

A meme to distract me

(got this meme from smallhobbit)

How old are you? 52 going on 12

Tattoos? None, lots of closed up old piercings though, too exhausted to bother these days

Ever hit a deer? Nope, don't drive, hit a hedgehog once with my powered wheelchair though and felt awful about it for years

Ridden in an ambulance? Too many times to remember, once with blues and twos for me that I don't remember, then gain a week later for same thing (still don't know what), twice collapsed with ME exhaustion with new baby and parameds took one look at my **** of an ex and took me to hospital to be feed and watered and looked after a bit. Many, many times as a mum riding shotgun - allergic reactions, head injuries, seizures... Also, hospital transport ones to hospital out patients appointments for both me and daughter while my Mum was very ill for a year and unable to drive.

Sang karaoke? Never have, never would

Ice skated? Nope, see reference to wheelchair, and when able bodied and young, no opportunities

Ridden a motorcycle? Only pillion a few times as a teen and in early twenties

Stayed in hospital? Oh yes (surgery x3, above collapsed with exhaustion, the blues and twos after collapsing on bus and blood pressure fell, then again following week, wisdom teeth extraction bad anaesthetic reaction)

Skipped school? Too scared, off sick a lot though, doesn't that count, school thought so...

Last phone call? To my brother, in tears, in shock, almost suicidal over the denial of PIP to my daughter, a few hours ago

Last text from? My brother to say he'd be with me at 2 tomorrow, but I have 10s-100s a day as it's how my daughter and I communicated due to her auditory memory dysfunction

Watched someone die? Only pets :(

Pepsi or Coke? Neither, allergic to caffeine, stevia, aspartame, sodium benzoate, but regular coke only has the caffeine, so I'll pick that one :)

Favorite Pie? My mum's gluten free, dairy free corned beef pies, before diagnosis as a child, my Granny's apple pie

Favorite pizza? H'm, one that won't kill me, lol - Pizza Hut gf base with no cheese with peppers, jalapeños, red onions, olives and spinach is nice

Favorite season? Autumn, love the smell of the earth and the colours of the leaves and the crispness in the air, plus a whole new lot of wide eyes, bushy tailed freshers arriving in Oxford

Broken bones? Only the little toe

Received a ticket? Don't drive :p but obviously buy train and bus tickets, get tickets to show my daughter is in/stage managed/been chaperone off/written and directed for free :)

Favorite color? Blue, green, or purple, depending on state of mind and mood

Sunset or sunrise? Sunrise

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asparagusmama
asparagusmama

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