asparagusmama (asparagusmama) wrote,

advice please

I'd never thought I'd miss my neighbours so much - the alcoholic drug dealer and her shouting and her teenage mother for a daughter, or the lovely but weird couple and their 5 noisy boys and their chain smoking, and certainly not the ex prostitute who was an ardent UKIP supporter (why, I have no idea, as she was disabled and her history, well...). all 3 houses in the two semis were completely refitted (say rebuilt inside!) before going onto the market at 'economic rent' and the new people are all very quiet (nice) but very judgemental and do not so much as smile, blank us when we say hi, and even walk in and slam the door when they see us. Today BK suggested they think we're the druggies. So, feeling so isolated and alone, more so now since I was attacked in Abingdon and lacking any confidence since my fall, I thought, what is I write a note introducing us and explaining a bit why we seem so housebound and are still in pjs all day and why sometimes there is shouting. It can't make matters worse, can it? Please, someone help me decide how to approach this. the days of smiley, chatty aparagusmama are gone, and it's bad enough having the stranger spit out 'scrounger, you should all be in a camp' in the supermarket, without feeling the next door neighbours and the other near neighbour are thinking it. If they are, no harm done, and I'd rather be hated fro being disabled than being something I'm not and never have been. I may have been married to a drug addict, but I've not used drugs and I'm teetotal. I don't use cope with caffeine!

Dear new neighbour.
Hi. I thought I'd introduce my daughter and myself as these days people never get to chat do they, leading busy lives. You moved in at a bad time for us. I have ME and last year had a kind of mini stroke. Meanwhile my daughter, who is autistic and whom I have teach at home as she could cope with school/they weren't meeting her need, is recovering from a had injury from nearly 3 years ago and may have epilepsy 9you may have noticed the wires on her head last month!). I know it might seem strange that we are always at home and go out occasionally in taxis, but the taxis are mostly for my daughter to take her to classes and her tutor.
This summer we slept in the tent as my house was converted for me to sleep downstairs for when I next have a relapse. Well, it's here, I've had the most dreadful relapse, but the housing association have spent the last 6 weeks not fixing my stairlift so life is hard.
You may have seen the paramedic and ambulance last Tuesday - I had a bad fall and cut my head in several places and injured my back. This is directly due to not having the stairlift. It's a bit of the final straw.
I know that the media like to portray the disabled as scroungers, but I didn't chose this. I was a research and teaching assistant at Brookes university waiting for my funded PhD to be finalised in 2000. I studied for 2 degrees there already, and worked my way through both at Tescos. Before cancer made me think again about studying I worked as a civil servant. I paid tax and NI until I couldn't. Does that make me a scrounger? My daughter said you might think we are drug addicts. We most certainly are not, we neither do drugs nor drink alcohol. Anyway, that's us, and if I seem rude, I'm in pain, and if I seem spaced, I'm exhausted, and if you hear shouting, my daughter is stressed and frightened by the worsening condition of her Mum, so please be patient with us and say hi at times if you want :) I hope you enjoy living here, it's mostly a nice place to live :)

So? If I send it to the 3 couples, is it weird? Will they think any worse of me? Or will it do no harm or might even help me feel less isolated and hated?
Tags: advice, disability, isolation, neighbours
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